Dating a younger woman

I never expected to be in this position. After 19 years, my wife decided that we were no longer compatible and asked for a divorce.

Forget that I did not fight for a fair settlement because I wanted to do "do the right thing". Forget that all the time and effort that we both had put in was for naught, since she admitted that she was not able to get past what was, honestly, a very minor transgression, 10 years earlier, and that she knew she was never going to forgive me. Forget that I had done everything she had asked, to work out marital issues. Forget the fact that she was undiagnosed ADHD until moving to Rhode Island, and that after all the work I had done upon my own diagnosis, she was still holding me to blame for the failure of our marriage, despite all that we knew from my own journey.

But, I can not forget how raw and vulnerable I was after the split. I tried to date a few months afterwards, but it just was not possible. My heart wasn't in it. I was scared, hurt and withdrawn.

Then, one day, a young lady with whom I work sat down next to me at lunch and we chatted. I had seen her for months, as she worked I the same area as me. A couple of chats, and one evening of crying on her shoulder after meeting with my divorce attorney, and we were dating. A few more dates, and I was her boyfriend. A little while later, I was more deeply in love than I had ever thought possible.

It's been three months, we love each other, and are talking about the future we want together. We are in love. We want to get married. We want to have a family. We have only one problem...she is 30 years younger than me.

As soon as I realized the depth of the relationship, I started reading about such relationships.  The odds are not good. They're actually quite bad. In spite of that, we continue to be completely wrapped up in each other. As we progress down this road, the age becomes more and more of a concern. She raises all the legitimate concerns:

• When she is my age, she will probably be a widow 

• I will not ever see my grandchildren 

•  She will have no real support system when I die, since her parent will likely be gone, as well. 

•  She will be starting over when she is my age. 

•  She will not yet have retired, and therefore not be able to do the things retired couples do together.

And so, we have a problem. Or I should say, I have a problem. As a spiritual being, I would say that I should not sacrifice what may be 30 years of a beautiful relationship, just because of what will happen in 30 years.

But I'm not the one who will be left behind, so it's easy for me to say that.

So, more to the point, am I being selfish and inconsiderate by not breaking up with her? Is it wrong of me to want this relationship as badly as I do?

These are all rhetorical questions. She and I have to answer them for ourselves. Wish us luck.

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Verizon iPhone 5 + Verizon Network Extender + Verizon Fios (FAIL)

Background Facts:
1. I am a loyal Verizon customer (Since I was a PrimeCo customer), believing them to be the best carrier, and having the best customer service. (I've used the other carriers, so I speak from personal experience)
2. I understand technology can have quirks, sometimes.
3. I live in the direct center of a cell signal challenged area.
4. Contrary to popular opinion, I'm not an idiot.

So, here's the story...

I moved into a new apartment in November. I quickly discovered that cell service in my area, not just my building, but the surrounding neighborhood, was less than marginal.

First, I started out just dropping calls just sometimes. Then, I realized that "sometimes" was not accurate, and that it happened quite a bit. It made working from home impossible, and was just a pain, in general.

So, with some research (not much - it was pretty easy) I found out about Verizon's Network Extender and thought, great idea. I was already planning on upgrading to the iPhone 5, so I went to the store and bought both at once. I asked *specifically* if the NX was compatible with the iPhone 5 and was assured that it was.

You *do* know whats coming...right?

I installed the NX, which was a piece of cake. My company issued BlackBerry (also Verizon) was happy as a clam, but my new iPhone 5...not so much.

It is constantly goes from 5 bars and attached to the NX to No Service/Searching.

I am just starting the process of troubleshooting this with VZW and Fios.

I'll keep you posted.

Catching up

I just saw that my last post was May 2011. A lot has happened since then. My wife and I now live in her home state of Rhode Island. I applied for, and got, a job with CVS, at their corporate HQ in Woonsocket. I started last October, so I just had my 1 year anniversary.

The whole thing has been great. I love RI, living in Providence on the East Side, and feel at home for the first time in my life.

CVS is a great company to work for. The people, culture and environment are the best of anyplace I've ever worked.

We just got back from Florida, having gone there to sell our house. After having renters for the last year move out, we didn't want to be landlords anymore. We took a HUGE beating, losing all our equity, which hurt like nothing else I can describe. But, on the bright side, we're free of the burden, and can look forward to rebuilding.

RI just got over "Sandy", and today it's been snowing like crazy. not much sticking, but still...

Anyway, the other big news is that my other business venture, SocialPicnik.com is almost ready for launch. My partners are working diligently at fixing all the issues uncovered by the testing launch, and from there, we are planning a "soft" launch by the end of the year.

Stay tuned for more updates on that. SocialPicnik will change the face of ecommerce forever, and will put ebay on notice that they are not the only game in town.

That's it, for today.

Thanks for stopping by.

Skype: Three Ways Microsoft Can Blow It -- InformationWeek

Skype: Three Ways Microsoft Can Blow It -- InformationWeek

I think that this article hits on some very critical points that can't be ignored. They may claim that they will support non-windows platforms, do you think that MS will put nay SERIOUS effort into IOS, Andriod, and MAC platforms? There is nothing any one can say to me that would make me think that it's only a matter of time until MS effectively cripples Skype on non MS platforms.

Believe it or not, I'm not anti-MS, but I do think that business decisions tend to me narrow minded in cases like this.

I hope that I'm wrong, but I won't be shocked if I'm right.

Daily Show mocks FCC's Baker for taking Comcast job

Daily Show mocks FCC's Baker for taking Comcast job

Senate bill would require warrant for e-mail, cloud searches

Senate bill would require warrant for e-mail, cloud searches

android to iphone...two weeks later

Well, I never expected to be the one to go down this road, but I am now an iphone user. I'm still with Verizon, but I have abandoned Android for the iphone.

The reasons this came about are pretty simple. First I had the original Droid. It was very good, great, in fact, for the most part. Through my own misuse (dropped a couple of times) it started to act up on me and signal strength started to suffer. Perhaps I had damaged the internal antenna...who knows. Add to that, the fact that the phone was strictly CDMA so I could not travel out of the country with it. My last vacation I was frustrated by this, and the fact that both my wife (AT&T iPhone) and best friend (Blackberry) has coverage everywhere we went.

So I got home and just pondered...I thought about the Droid2, but that was just an updated phone. THEN I SAW IT!!! The Droid2 Global. My prayers were answered. I researched and read and decided that the D2G was the next phone for me.

I got the phone, transferred everything over and started to use it. It was fast, ran like a charm, great signal everywhere I went, AND the promise of coverage overseas. Then it started. I began to have issues with the phone rebooting on its own. Then calls would have no speaker and on mic...and it would happen with no warning and I would have to reboot the phone to get it working again, never knowing when it would happen again. I Took it to the store and the offered to replace it. I agreed and got a refurb...seriously...a REFURB in place of my 4 week old phone...SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!?!

anyway, I tried that phone and in the first week, same thing. So I hard reset it, took off all the apps, and used the phone as if it were fresh out of the box with nothing added...no music, no photos, no ringtones, no other emails except for my gmail account....nothing. It made no difference.

I went back to Verizon, Paid the money and got the iphone. Very simply, it works fine. It's different from Android...there a several features that I miss, but in the end, the phone works reliably and it's stable.

I know that I am back to CDMA, and I'll have to live with that, but since I don't travel internationally THAT much, it's not a huge issue.

My take on all this is that Android wants to be more open and free, so the apps and things might not get vetted as well as IOS apps. Everything has a cost...with Android, its stability on some phones, with apple, is being locked into whatever they approve and the knowledge that they can remotely disable or remove apps and features that they don't want you to have.

I'm happy with the iphone. I miss my android, but I don't miss the problems. If things change, I'll post an update.

Sony's thought provoking presentation at their 2010 annual meeting

This is a remarkably powerful video that I meant to post quite some time ago. Every time I watch it, I think about where we are as a society and where we are going. As an IT strategic planner, this is a thought provoking video

4 things that are important to me

On a recent job interview, I was asked to state four things that are important to me. You would think that that is a question requiring a lot of careful thought. I was surprised at how quickly my answer came. It was completely unrehearsed. Here are my answers, in the order I gave them:

1.
At the end of the day, no matter what I have done, or for whom I have done it, I need to be able to sleep at night. I need to be comfortable with what I have done in the world that day
2.
I asked the interviewer if they had ever been camping, they had. So I shared my next item of importance as an analogy; When ever you leave a campsite, leave it in better condition than how you found it. I apply the same principal to everything that I do in life...where ever I go, I want to leave it in better condition than before I arrived.
3.
When I come home at the end of the day, do my wife and cats still love me? This might seem small, but in the grand sense, what I am saying, is that I want to be the kind of person that my wife, whom I love and respect dearly, loves and respects me and wants to be with me. By the same manner, do my cats still feel safe enough in my presence to want to curl up on my lap.
4.
Personal health. I am conscious of what I put into my body. I am not a "foodie" nor am I a strict vegan or vegetarian, which is fine; But, I do eat with thought. I don't mean that I deprive myself of things that I like, but I eat with care for my overall heath.

OK, that's it. I think that these points are worth sharing with the world. What's important to you?